Monday, August 11, 2008

Case of Deal gone BAD....

Back in 2004, 3 friends, Abdullah, Samy and Ong wanted to create history by routing their opposition in the forthcoming general elections. They schemed on the best methods to come about how to make it happen. How to drub their opponents. Its a matter of strategy... it has to be decisive, it has to be awesome, it has to be elegant.

So, while Samy and Ong talked about strategies, this Abdullah went about asking his moneyman, Azim to procure awesome numbers of buntings, posters, boards, t-shirts and mineral water. He told Azim, "Zim, you go and see all those people we give itu semua title... cakap we need them to bagi donation. Donation tu, we use for all these "I Love UMNO" stuff." These are all meant to be given out to impress the voters that, "We, the government are with you." Then SC came a calling and asked, "Err... Abdullah, each Parliamentary constituency... we allow RM100,000 expenditure only you know?" To this Abdullah replied, "Of course... these are all... donation belaka. People sayang us as the government, they donated all these buntings.. these crates of mineral water... summore they love me so much, they put my face on the t-shirts."

The SC happy with the explanation, went about their "chores" and declared Abdullah the biggest victor in the 2004 elections... Then, the supplier seeing that the people they support has won big came a calling for the "debt". Hasan then asked Abdullah, "Lah... where la itu payment... 218juta woh! Itu semua supplier hambat sama I... you know lah.. we all crony business, I buat margin only... that oso my cost you know... 150juta. You pay me 180juta also I can survive, now satu sen pun you tak bayar... mati la I."

Abdullah then summoned Azim, "Zim... mana tu duit tuk Hasan?" Zim regretfully replied, "Lah, tu Hasan too much la.. he charge kita 150% punya profit. Tu duit I kutip dulu tu semua guna untuk billboard. The big big one... so, I guna habih... sudah pokai.. cam na I wan to pay this Hasan?"

Abdullah in a quandry, thought hard for a few moments, then he said, "Zim! I know. Since, itu Ong sama Samy benefit sama ini barang semua, kita suruh dia orang bayaq la. After all, we are a family, right?" Azim thought for a while.... then said, "Boss, good idea boss... kita guna mereka bayar... I like your idea." So then Abdullah told Hasan, "San, I tell you this, I will collect the money from Ong and Samy, then we pay you."

In a meeting between Abdullah, Ong and Samy...

Abdullah: Remember or not? We were family kan?
Ong and Samy: Now what do you want? We already sell our backside for you liao.. summore what you want?
Abdullah: Cool la.. brader... I just have this 218million bill I need you all to help me settle. You people benefit also wut? 2004 election, you see itu semua bunting, poster kilat kilat punya.. I got this friend of mine, Hasan to do it all for us. Now we need to pay him....
Ong: Lah, 1mil 2 mil, I can still ask my brothas to help out.. now you wan 218million... already 2008 we kena hammer all round... you think I still have crony willing to cough out so much? Lah, your side there all crony gemuk gemuk.. ask them to pay la...
Samy: ya la.. ask them la.. after all see all my Hindraf brader all, you send to jail, my kutu all lose the election kau kau... you still want me to pay? My kutu all the best one also besi buruk and budget barber shop..." Your kutu meanwhile over the last 4 years all gemuk already... 30%.. 30%... we all what else have we got?

Abdullah went back disappointed... as he sat down for coffee with Azim...

Abdullah: Zim.. big trouble la ni... they all cannot pay...
Zim: Cant be helped Lah... we fight until they pay 200mil.. meanwhile we go to court and tell them Hasan's charge defective. They cannot just sue us... its all in the family...
Abdullah: But you jokers go and sign the DO.. delivered to us... apa macam?
Zim: We still got Zaki wut... why worry?
Abdullah: Hmmmmm......

(to be continued)
Note: All characters are fictitious in nature, any resemblance to real life characters are however accidental in nature.

5 comments:

cleffairy said...

I don't know what to say. you post got me laughing. :-P the way you write it, it sounds like a comedy. Sadly it's not just a mere comedy. :-(

Malaysian Joe said...

Actually my message is this, AAB trying to make the judiciary look "independent" and that his reforms is "working". Just remember he has Zaki (former UMNO treasurer) as Head of Appeals Court and soon to be CJ of Malaysia... :(. hehehe... in the mood for some manglish.

Calvin Soo KJ said...

good one bro...you should've been a producer in our local drama scene. the ones we have had now sucks. lol. *waiting anxiously for the sequel*....sadly, our malaysian politics are also one big drama that includes lots of shitteries that caused us the rakyat to suffer...:(

warrior2 said...

Pardon me, you are a joke la! hehe

First you have the caveat which showed that you are chicken!

Now, in the comment column, even though your caveat said, ini semua fictitous bla bla, you SPECIFICALLY MENTIONED AAB, ZAKI

my oh my

Anonymous said...

I think he wrote the last part as a joke la..